


Do you wanna battle? ('Cuz my balls are at the ready!)

by siseondul



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, My Fics for Fic Exchanges, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-10 04:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6939451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siseondul/pseuds/siseondul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chanyeol's cousin, Junmyeon, is visiting for the summer and Baekhyun is upset that his best friend is going to be taken away from him. That is until he sees the guy of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do you wanna battle? ('Cuz my balls are at the ready!)

**Author's Note:**

> a pinch hit for baeksuthefuture fic exchange on lj.

to: beanpole [21:22]  
so i was thinking

to: Shrimp [21:24]  
uh oh, sounds painful

to: beanpole [21:24]  
hardy ha  
since we're both off next wk, lets finally go on that road trip we’ve been talking abt for ages!  
U can work on the logistics - route, sort the car out, hotels & _I’ll_ make us a playlist ;)

to: Shrimp [21:25]  
um...  
do u ever listen to a thing i say?

to: beanpole [21:25]  
not always  
u talk too much :)

to: Shrimp [21:26]  
is this u tryna convince me cos its not working :/  
anyhoo  
can't do it cos ¡¡¡¡comic con!!!!!  
my cousin is even coming down for it & everything

to: beanpole [21:26]  
but this is our last summer together before i intern & find better friends than u  
can't u dress up as cartoons next year?? ㅠㅠ

to: Shrimp [21:26]  
poor  
0/5  
not even moved in the slightest

to: beanpole [21:27]  
ok then if muhammed can’t get the mountain to him, guess it means im going comic con  
what i do for you eh! ;)

to: Shrimp [21:27]  
that’s not how that proverb goes  
also, u? at? comic? con?  
u think Pokemon is taxing

to: beanpole [21:28]  
tHERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM!  
u no it'll be fun w me there

to: Shrimp [21:28]  
& everyone thinks im the clingy girlfriend in this relationship

to: beanpole [21:28]  
well i do look better in a skirt

to: Shrimp [21:29]  
that’s not what the judges thought at the hallows eve fancy dress 2013  
i make the hotter girl baek  
just accept it /hairflip

to: beanpole [21:30]  
its only cos kyungsoo was a judge & he’s besotted for some reason

"SHUT UP BAEKHYUN" someone yelled from across the hall, Baekhyun could fathom a guess who that was.

to: beanpole [21:31]  
when the hell did kyungsoo come over???  
also, thanks for telling me the food arrived u pleb

to: Shrimp [21:31]  
LMAO  
anytime ;)  
now hurry before i finish ur portion too

Baekhyun needed new friends stat but he didn’t feel like searching on an empty stomach, maybe he’d look into it when he finished the pizza they’d bought over.  
-  
The door was ajar when he came back to the apartment after his session at the gym. He had been working on his guns just 20 minutes ago but he wasn't sure they'd prove useful against actual guns if the trespasser was armed.

He treaded slowly into the foyer and found a rather young man, smartly dressed on his settee as though he owned the bloody thing.

"Ok, if you're here to steal," the man looked up at Baekhyun slowly, he didn't seem startled. Maybe he was a mobster, his eyes were devoid of emotion and no hair was out of place on his head. Baekhyun could see under that tight white shirt and fitted suit trousers, the man was lithe and strong, he had to go about this a different way unless he wanted to be dead meat or find decapitated animal heads in his bed.

"Um, take the stuff from Chanyeol’s room, he has plenty of fancy gadgets, they'll fetch a good price. I never saw you; in fact, I can't even see you now.” He started laughing maniacally and began walking back out of the room slowly.

"You must be Baekhyun, I’m Chanyeol's cousin Junmyeon." The man said this slowly and calmly, like Baekhyun was startled animal or just plain daft.  
Ok, Baekhyun did feel very daft but what was he expected to think when random men appeared in his living room unannounced a day after he marathoned all the Godfather movies. Well, nearly all of them, he fell asleep during the 3rd one and had a disturbing dream involving Kyungsoo trying to batter him to death with balloon animals.

The other man looked like he was having a difficult time trying to keep a straight face.

"I knew that, I was just kidding," Junmyeon nodded sagely and Baekhyun appreciated he didn't push it further. "If you wouldn’t mind not telling Chanyeol about this or the comment about his-"

"I heard it all asshole!" a booming voice stated from the vicinity of the bathroom.

Baekhyun looked towards the bathroom door, _oh well_ he thought as he threw his gym bag on the floor and slumped onto the sofa. It was only a little after noon and he was already done with this day.

He turned his head to Junmyeon who was currently looking over him with an appraising eye. He hadn’t changed out of his gym outfit, preferring to shower in the bathroom Chanyeol had seemingly died in. He knew he was still sweaty and probably didn't smell too great but Junmyeon's look wasn't one of disgust or disapproval, quite the opposite in fact. Junmyeon’s eyes locked onto Baekhyun's and there was a glint of amusement and something akin to interest. Baekhyun suddenly felt revived and maybe a little bit flattered, if Junmyeon liked what he saw right now, wait till he scrubbed up.

"So, Comic con," he started, only he wasn't sure where to take it. "Comics are great. You know what I like? Pokémon. Isn't it great?" Why did he mention Pokémon? He knew nothing about it.

Junmyeon smiled serenely and it was like the sun had come out, or like a kick in the gnads, Baekhyun couldn’t decide which and almost missed the other mans response. "Pokémon _is_ great. You have a favourite?”

"Pikachu!" he yelled, he knew that much. “Everyone loves Pikachu. Classic! Can't go wrong with him and all that Pika Pika." Maybe he could have left out the bad impression but Junmyeon seemed to be enjoying it if his hearty chuckle was anything to go by.

"I do love Pikachu but I’m more of a Bulbasaur man myself" Junmyeon replied.

Baekhyun was stumped, which one was that?

"I like him and all, he's the one with the um," what did it look like? He would have attempted to quickly google it on his phone but he’d give himself away. "Bulbs? like light bulbs or was it the er..." he didn't bother to hazard another guess because Junmyeon was currently curled over himself howling with laughter. It wasn't that funny.

"You are something else Baekhyun-sshi" the older man muttered ‘bulbs’ to himself whilst he wiped at his eyes. He just beamed at Baekhyun who is sort of overwhelmed by this smile. He noticed that like his gangly cousin, Junmyeon had a lot of teeth but it made for a much less creepy smile.

"You know Chanyeol had mentioned you were a very interesting character with a wicked sense of humour but I didn't quite..."

"Junmyeon hyung, it’s alright if I call you that?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"I don't see why not," there goes that appraising look again, this one communicates 'you can call me what you like' or maybe Baekhyun is projecting, he did that a fair bit apparently.

"I feel as though there was some editing in that statement. You forget I know Chanyeol, what did he really say?" Junmyeon huffs a laugh in response.  
"Um well I can't remember it verbatim but there was a mention of small pricks being a torn in his side and that I should steer clear of you.”

Baekhyun glares angrily at the bathroom door, "Really?"

"Did I lie though?"

"Uh, yes! Also, what the hell are you doing in there? I need to have a wash."

"Well we had burritos at the shack and-"

Baekhyun raised his hands towards the door and realises his friend can't see him.

"NO NEED FOR DETAILS!” he manages to holler. “I was there the last time their burritos disagreed with you and _you_ may have forgotten but we have a guest.” He shakes his head at Junmyeon, as though to apologise for his roommates callousness and gets another blinding eye-smile.

"Hyung doesn't care. He was there when I was circumcised; when I found out I was lactose intolerant summer of 1999 and threw up on aunt Yoona’s cake -"  
"Oh my god, why is any of this relevant?" Baekhyun honestly loves his best friend to bits and has on many occasion, usually when plastered, told him so but sometimes he really drove him up the wall.

"He's also a paediatrician so none of this fazes him, isn’t that right hyung?" to Junmyeon’s credit, he’s looks pretty unfazed as he picks at the nuts in the small bowl on the table, he just nods in the affirmative and continues eating. Smart and hot.

Junmyeon stops chewing. "Hot?"

"What?" oh shit, was Baekhyun doing that 'thinking aloud' thing? He tries to go for a nonchalant expression but he feels his face heating up and it’s getting all rather embarrassing. The other man turns his attention back to the bowl like it’s the most fascinating thing but Baekhyun can see he’s trying not to smile and it’s just so endearing Baekhyun forgets he is meant to be berating himself.

"Were you not able to bathe in the gym?" Junmyeon asks politely.

"And get Athlete’s foot or something? No thanks.”

"Is Athlete’s foot code for you being scared of Minseok ramming his athletic foot up your puny as-"

“Godammit Chanyeol!” Baekhyun sheepishly turns to Junmyeon to do a little damage control. “I don’t even know what he’s talking about, ignore him. It's just the guys in the changing room make me uncomfortable." If he was being entirely honest, only Minseok made him uneasy but Baekhyun didn’t want to get into why because frankly, he came across a tad pitiful and he didn’t want Junmyeon to think he was a complete loser. Despite his efforts, he's already managed to screw it up because Junmyeon's smile dims and there's a flicker of confusion on his (really) handsome face.

"I didn't peg you as the type who was uncomfortable with a bit of attention Baekhyun or is it just male attention?"

Despite Junmyeon lowering his voice, he can hear Chanyeol guffaw from the toilet. Clearly those big ears had their advantages.

"Minseok is a trainer slash bodybuilder and Baekhyun slept with his boyfriend Jongdae so Minseok sorta wants to end him," Chanyeol informs him and laughs with full throated gusto, who needed foes when your friends were like this.

Baekhyun opens and closes his mouth a couple of times to try and clarify the situation; and maybe look like less of a douchebag in front of the young doctor but a smile has found its way back on Junmyeon's face and there isn't a trace of judgement there. Baekhyun decided he might be willing to retell all his embarrassing stories if it kept that smile on his face and boy did he have a bunch of those.

"How long are you staying for hyung?" he wasn't sure who shuffled closer to the other or if it was a combined effort but their thighs were almost touching, just the heat radiating of Junmyeon had his thighs tingling.

"Well I’m staying here for the next 2 days and then we're off. Didn't Chanyeol tell you?"

"Yes I did, he just never li-"

"Shuddup!" Baekhyun’s truly had enough from his friend today.

"So do you have anything planned the next 2 days? I think your cousin is working"

"Nope, was just gonna do some shopping and marathon some films.”

Yes, movies, that was more of Baekhyun’s forte.

"Well I’m doing nothing, zilch, nada,” he hoped he wasn’t coming across too eager. “I can keep you company, if you like that is.” Baekhyun was aware he’d only known the older man but a few minutes but he was already taken with him and could do with a few more days teasing eye smiles and laughs out of him. If that then lead to knowing him more intimately _without clothes_ , the better for it to be quite honest.

Junmyeon pursed his lips and tilted his head as though considering the offer. Baekhyun nudged his shoulder and came into contact with hard muscle, he had the sudden desire to skip to the knowing each other out of clothes like right now.

"I would like that very much Baekhyun-sshi" Junmyeon beamed and there may have been lingering looks, but the mood was completely ruined when a door was wretched open and ricocheted off the wall.

"Jesus Christ Chanyeol, why so much force?"

At least the taller boy had the decency to look shamefaced. "It got stuck. Also, that toilet is out of commission. In fact, we sorta need a plumber this instance."  
Junmyeon began chuckling.

"Are you telling me I waited for all this time for nothing? Where do I go now?"

"Can't you go next door? I’m sure Kyungsoo won't mind" Junmyeon suggested. Baekhyun was about to ask him how he knew their friend but he tuned into what Chanyeol was rambling about and panicked.

"Baekhyun is banned. He left the bathroom door open when he was having a wank and Kyungsoo's mum was visi-"

"Aaaargghhh!" Baekhyun yelled in a poor attempt to drown out Chanyeol but it was too late, Junmyeon heard it all and was patting Baekhyun's thigh in sympathy.

He wondered how slim his chances were with Junmyeon if he murdered his baby cousin, he'd have to come back to this after he was done revelling in the older man’s caress.  
-  



End file.
